Relaxing into Spring
Spring peepers, monarchs, and cherry blossoms coming soon
In those peaceful moments between everything, when you can finally take a deep breath and push your shoulders back like wings, it can be hard to actually relax. The feeling that you don’t have to do anything is met with the overwhelming insistence that you should be doing something. You’re stuck in a cycle perpetuated by capitalism and patriarchy and society. You thought we would all learn in the wake of a global pandemic, that we would remember that time when we were forced to do nothing and go nowhere was restorative. Yet, here you are sitting at a desk when you could be on the couch because, if you have time, you must use it productively.
Productivity is a story we tell ourselves. Sometimes, it’s entirely made up of lies. You haven’t defined it for yourself. You’ve let someone else do that, passed down generation after generation despite the world being an entirely different place than it was six years ago let alone sixty. And the panic grows with each passing day. Each notification that pops up on your phone is another reminder that you’re not doing enough.
Enough of what, though? If you pause, if you take that deep breath, if you push your shoulders back, if you sit on the couch without scrolling through your phone, if you let yourself sit in the silence of doing nothing, where does that leave you? How do you define productivity?
If you want, you can convince yourself that relaxing is productive. In order to be your best self at work tomorrow, in order to be the best parent and partner and friend, you need to relax. If you don’t relax, you can’t do your best work. You’re just another cog in the wheel of productivity, but at least you’re relaxing. If you can convince yourself that you deserve relaxation, rather than needing it, is it different? No, not really. And if you convince yourself it’s something you should do, it becomes another task on your to-do list.
Instead of all of those things, what if relaxing is like spring? What if it’s part of the life cycle? In winter, you spend your energy accomplishing the hard things. It’s hard to prepare for busy seasons or hibernation. It’s hard to do things day after day when the sky is gray and daylight is limited, but you trudge on. You go to your meetings. You pick up your kids. You make dinner. You see your friends. There is life in these things too, but it is slower. You need more time to pause.
In the spring, everything is both slow and fast. This is your relaxing time. Just when you think you cannot see the world in sepia any longer, green starts to poke through. You want it to hurry along so you can get to beach barbeques and outdoor movies. You want it to be here now. But if you rush it and everything opens too quickly, a late frost will come in and destroy it all. So you must wait. You must slow down and let the greenery unfurl around you. You can appreciate the daffodils and magnolias and snowdrops fighting through the muddy, half-frozen ground. You can anticipate the cherry blossoms and tulips, but you must be patient. The rain forces you to be patient. The thunderstorms force you to be patient. The tornado warnings force you to be patient. The early spring snow dusting the grass you were so excited to see just days ago forces you to be patient.
So take a deep breath. Push your shoulders behind you like wings, and listen. The songbirds are emerging and soon they will have babies. The spring peepers’ ribbits will be a lullaby. The monarchs will migrate yet again. Everything good is coming in due time. Enjoy these peaceful moments and relax.
Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.
Reading: You Didn’t Hear This From Me: (Mostly) True Notes on Gossip by Kelsey McKinney
I am fascinated by our relationship with gossip socially and linguistically, especially considering it’s often gendered. In this book of essays, Kelsey McKinney talks about her relationship with gossip generally, celebrity gossip, gossip within a church setting, and so much more.
Eating: Orange Loaf Cake
I used Cara Cara oranges which are pink on the inside and absolutely delicious.
Playing: “A Sunday Kind of Love” by Etta James
Obsessing: Pointing out everything that is newly green and budding as if spring has never happened before and will never happen again.
Recommending: Do the thing that’s going to make your life easier, even if it’s a little expensive.
You can always stop doing the thing, cancel the subscription, what have you. For me, this is a meal prep box. It’s not the cheapest way to buy groceries, but then again groceries aren’t cheap. What it does do is make the mental load of meal planning and grocery shopping so much easier, and I still get home-cooked meals.
Treating: Ice cream any day the temperature is above 60
That’s all she wrote…
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Excellent reminder. And your depiction of spring made me happy.