An Ode to Social Media
After deleting my apps for a couple months
I deleted social media apps from my phone in early April. I realized I was scrolling Instagram and TikTok for no other reason than to scroll. I was opening my phone to see what was there. For the first few days, I was frustrated by how many times I mindlessly unlocked my phone and began searching through my apps. I never once had a conscious thought about doing it, but there I was. I justified keeping the apps by telling myself I was supporting creators. That’s all well and good. We understand that a complete TikTok ban would have financially harmed many creators. However, in the grand scheme of things, am I really helping? That altruistic justification probably isn’t all that reliable.
So they’re gone. It’s been two months now, and I’ve only just considered logging in again. I don’t think I want to redownload them. I have, however, been thinking about what I gain from social media with more conscious reflection. That also comes with understanding what it was taking from me and what I’ve gained without it.
I’ve stopped instinctively scrolling. Once I’ve checked my email, read a few Substack posts, and played the New York Times Games, I’m kind of tapped out. There goes the phone. I’d like to say I’ve used this time to read more books, but I haven’t. I’ve knit a little bit more, but I’ve mostly watched more TV (all of Sex and the City and all of Andor, if you’re curious). I’ve written more. I’ve been outside more. I’ve been bringing a book to work to read a few pages on my lunch break, and my screen time is down. I’m still on my phone for about 2 hours a day, and I do find myself mindlessly scrolling through Substack Notes without actually reading any of them from time to time. But I also call several friends a week and talk to my mom several times a week too. That all counts towards my screen time.
What I miss from social media is knowing what my friends are doing. A few months ago, Instagram stories taught me that it was my friend’s birthday and that they had lost their job. I wouldn’t have known otherwise, and that makes me wonder what I’ve missed in the last couple of months. My friends are scattered to the wind after high school and college. They’re all doing cool shit. Without social media, I don’t always know what it is.
On social media, I can check in to see what friends are doing and what they’ve been doing, even where they are sometimes. I can reference their pictures to make my own future travel plans. I can keep up with artists and small businesses on social media too. I’ve mostly worked for small businesses, and I know how important and how well-received those interactions are.
I don’t miss the targeted ads or the you could be better videos. I don’t miss the thought spirals about dating or being in your twenties or even the extremely personal stories about people I don’t know. I don’t need more book recommendations or to see art I can’t afford. I subscribe to the artists and small businesses I will actually buy from via email. I still impulsively bought camping bunnies stickers from StraberiWaffle because of those emails, but I didn’t experience two months of guilt and longing and whatever other weird mental games ads play to make you want stuff you don’t need. I saw the stickers, I have previously bought and loved Amanda Shae’s stickers, and so I bought more. It didn’t take 17 Instagram ads to convince me or guilt me into them.
I don’t think I want to be totally off the grid. I long to know what my friends are up to. It’s nice to know people you spent a summer with, but don’t talk to regularly, got married. It’s nice to ask the friends you talk to regularly to elaborate on some adventure they posted about. It’s nice to be able to show an edited version of my life to people I only talk to a couple of times a year. I don’t want to go back to mindlessly scrolling, but maybe logging in and out of Instagram on my computer is okay. I don’t miss Facebook or Snapchat at all. I’m sure there will be a day when I feel similarly about Instagram and TikTok. Today isn’t that day, and that’s okay.
This is the world we live in: one with social media and AI and trends and targeted ads and media literacy as the backbone to operating in society. Getting rid of my social media doesn’t change that. There is, I believe, a way to stay informed about the news, keep up-to-date with your friends, and be mostly in touch with trends and technology without falling down the rabbit hole. I don’t have an A-to-Z playbook for that yet, but it’s out there. We’ll just have to stay in touch and keep each other informed until we figure it out.
Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.
Reading: The Once and Future Forest: California’s Iconic Redwoods from Save the Redwoods League
This is a book of essays compiled by Save the Redwoods League as part of their centennial celebration in 2018. It’s riddled with confirmation bias about how much work they’ve done to protect the redwoods, but it also acknowledges their own pitfalls and shortcomings. It’s worth picking up if you have any reverence for trees generally or have spent time with the redwoods.
Eating: Broccoli Mac + Cheese
A childhood favorite that wasn’t a childhood favorite of mine. I now must enjoy it as an adult.
Playing: “Love You For A Long Time” by Maggie Rogers
This song is just a lovely ode to falling in love.
Obsessing: The New York Times U.S. Dialect Quiz
My boss said he had students take this one time, and since everyone was all over the world, it came up with some cool answers. Mine was pretty dead on with it’s first guess landing only 40 miles south of where I grew up. I know other people whose dialect quiz was totally different from either where they grew up or live.
Recommending: Get away.
Spend a couple days camping or turn off your phone for a few hours. Knit a few socks. Read a few books. Dip your feet in the ocean. Take a swim in the neighborhood pool. Do something you wouldn’t usually do. Get away from the mundane.
Treating: Either Lemon Blueberry Sheet Cake or Strawberry Peach Pie
Vote which one you think I should make this weekend!
That’s all she wrote…
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